Below is a lovely email Cindy received from a young man in the UK.
I just came across (no pun intended) your website and thought it’s just spot on. I’m a typical 24 year old guy who’s heard (and seen) enough crap about sex from the prudes on one side and copious amounts of online porno on the other. What the subject was always lacking was a view from the middle ground; someone who doesn’t think sex is inherently bad or shameful but also is not blind to the possible negative effects.
I remember saying to my first girlfriend when i was 16, “My favourite thing about sex is being close and skin-on-skin contact.”
I don’t think she understood this; she was all about the hardcore as she watched a lot of porn since she was like 13 and i didn’t own a computer even. 3 years later (after a purchase of a personal computer for my room) i was attempting to get another girlfriend to do the whole anal, cum on face, pornstar experience; she just wanted to be close and sensual, i took this to mean she didn’t want me sexually; in reality she just didn’t want to be some fuck doll, understandably.
I realized recently as a single man, that my ideas of sex and porn fantasy had become wildly separated while at the same time inextricably linked.
After a self-imposed moratorium on porn viewing and taking a step back from it all, i can now once again say that my favourite thing about sex is being skin-on-skin with a beautiful woman who isn’t necessarily a ‘Stepford Pornstar’ – bleach blonde, far too much eye shadow and screaming all over the place (although i wouldn’t kick her out of bed).
Sex, as i am sure you would agree, is absolutely fantastic and fun and so so many things, but it is extremely vulnerable to being turned into a distorted mirror image of the for-profit, scripted, fake industry that it is too easy to equate REAL sex with.
Porno is great and serves a purpose, it’s just different to real sex.
I think your site is great and i wanted to thank you for the effort, thought and consideration you have put into it all as it is far more succinct than i could be, as the above email will testify.
You’ll be saving a lot of young men and women (probably old too) a lot of needless worry and fixation so bless you for your honesty. Hopefully it inspires a few parents to be more honest rather than copping out for embarrassments sake.
Anonymous, United Kingdom
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