Written by Christine Whelan for xoJane. Originally published Jan 9, 2014.
Early last year I ended a monogamous relationship with someone I had been with for more than a decade. In the aftermath of the breakup I decided that what I most wanted at this stage in my life was sex, and lots of it. I dubbed 2013 my “year of fucking recreationally” and set out to find some hot, sweaty, messy, dirty, uncomplicated fun with like-minded friends. And find it I did! Here are some things that I learned about what it’s really like to seek casual sex as a forty year old fat chick.
Now, I should note that when I tell you I’m fat, I really mean it. I’m not just slightly chubby and complaining about those last 15 pounds. I’m rather short and weigh almost precisely 300 lbs. I wear size 28 clothing. Unless you think such things are mutually exclusive, I would describe myself as reasonably pretty, in a natural, low-maintenance, naughty librarian kind of way. I am fiercely intelligent, deeply hilarious, casually stylish, utterly unselfconscious and really, genuinely nice. I am also an absolute riot in the sack. And I’ve been getting laid like crazy.
I am certainly not everyone’s cup of tea, and I’m not at all offended by that fact. I respect that attraction is a personal thing and that lots of guys just aren’t into what I have to offer. That’s ok with me, as long as they’re not dicks about it. I have my own tastes and preferences as well, so I’m certainly not going to begrudge anyone else theirs.
If you have a mullet or a moustache or you don’t know how to use there, their and they’re correctly, I’m probably not going to be attracted to you. And I’m allowed to feel that way, just as you are allowed to feel any way you wish about me. But don’t do as one man did and send me a message out of the blue on Plenty of Fish to tell me that my mere presence there is disgusting and that I shouldn’t subject “normal” people to the affront of having to see my picture on that site. You go have your fun and let me have mine.
During the course of this year, I have had a lot of sex with a lot of different partners. And I’m not the least bit apologetic about that fact.
Read the rest here.