I’m an atypical 30 yr old because condoms make me horny : why we need more videos showing #condomhot #realworldsex

Written by Lara Worcester, editor of and contributor to Condom Monologues.

Confession: When I watch Cinemax sex, I sometimes re-imagine the foreplay involving a condom or dental dam. I like to think of this as re-coding “sexy” to account for my own experiences and tastes. I would say that hot safe sex is rendered unthinkable in dominant media. This doesn’t mean that I can’t identify with those intentionally absent and unsaid spaces. Then I found out about #MakeCondomhotLoveNotPorn.

I am a 30 year old in a fluid-bonded, hetero-relationship in which condoms are my only birth control. I have faced negative attitudes and stigma from peers and colleagues about my #Condomhot love. Some tend to respond with the attitude that I am missing out on great sex. Or this decision is some militant manifestation of my feminism to force the male to brunt responsibilities of birth control.

I have navigated and changed my contraceptive choices throughout the years. There are many reasons why condoms are the best option for me at this point in my life. First of all, we’re both tested for STIs so we know our statuses. The Depo Shot and the Pill weren’t right for my body. In fact, I have no desire to go back to hormonal contraceptives. Also, male condoms are inexpensive and don’t require a doctor or pharmacist. This is ideal for us because we live abroad often moving country every one or two years, and dealing with the different health care systems and costs are a headache. Unlike many couples our age, the “pull out” method doesn’t offer the same level of freedom that condoms give us. I do not feel withdrawal is universally irresponsible. What I’m saying here is that, personally, we are far too paranoid about getting pregnant to enjoy this option.

A very significant reason I choose condoms is because my partner and I don’t find them a hindrance. In fact, this safe practice actually adds to sensuality. I can’t express how sexy and comfortable it is to have a lover who consistently demonstrates his care for my health. It’s about being free from worry which, to me, equals hot fucking.

The wild floods in. Moreover, communicating about contraceptives also make talking about other sexual things a lot easier- like fantasies – so sex improves all around.

Being at it for seven years, my partner and I are stocked with sexy techniques. Plenty of which might help big-time porn directors facing mandatory condom laws in California.

I like putting the condom on together. I straddle him and roll the condom down while he pitches the reservoir tip to insure air is kept out. I can also tease and rub him while rolling it on. Experimenting with different lubes is also fun and really adds to sensitivity. Even shopping for new condoms is like an extension of foreplay.

I feel like the lack of sexy safe sex in mainstream media contributes to negative attitudes I’ve received from peers. Condoms are more often associated with sexual health services and less with pleasure. Also I think people don’t know enough about condoms (and other barriers): how to find the right fit, options in texture, experiment with lubes; how to put them on in playful erotic ways.

Projects like MLNP.tv are filling in these gaps and improving porn choices. It’s debunking the misconception that safer sex is less intimate or “real” than unprotected sex. As a viewer, #MakeCondomhotLoveNotPorn means I don’t have to imagine that safer sex is part of the story that’s tries to turn me on. Safer sex is already built into the video. Instead, I can let my creativity expand and set my imagination on other sexy possibilities. So, I say thank you!