Pro-sex. Pro-porn. Pro-knowing the difference.

Realworld girls are ‘Those Kinds of Girls’

By now, everyone and their mother has heard the controversy over portions of Lena Dunham’s new book Not That Kind of Girl in which she talks about her childhood exploration of her sister Grace’s vagina. Some people say that, since Lena’s sister is younger than her – Lena was 7 years old at the time – that Grace was the victim of sexual abuse. Some people think that Lena was acting inappropriately and somehow advocates for the sexualization of children. Some people say that it was wrong of Lena to write about this subject all.

Here at, we don’t agree with these naysayers. Instead, we thank Lena for opening a discussion about something that nobody has been talking about: how many #realworldgirls take part in some form of early bodily exploration that involves – gasp! – their vaginas. We think it is totally natural, healthy, and right for girls to figure out how healthy bodies look, feel, and act. We agree with bright, level-headed people like Kat George who, in her article 6 Totally Normal Things Young Girls Do When Discovering Their Sexuality says that, even though nobody ever talks about it, it is completely normal for little girls to discover their sexuality and #realworldbodies with each other.

That’s why we think it’s so important for children to be able to figure out crucial, basic things like human anatomy (yes, even the anatomy of vaginas) in an environment that’s open, safe, and completely free from judgment. In order for that to happen, adults have to be open to the kind of dialogues that Lena Dunham’s writing has inspired — the very same kinds of dialogue that little girls should be able to have every day without any embarrassment.

To get the ball rolling, the fabulous people over at  are publishing dozens of little, relatable, and completely normal stories about how “we all did weird sexual shit when we were kids”.  Here’s a few highlights– for more, be sure to check out the tumblr for yourself:

“When my friend and I were about seven we used to “play grownups” and kiss each other all over. One day she learned what gay meant (and she was catholic) and asked me if I knew what it meant. I said I did, it was when two boys or two girls loved each other. She was angry that I “knew what we were doing was gay and still made her do it” and she stopped talking to me. It hurt because I was worried I actually had pressured her into something. Looking back– I didn’t.”

My sister and I would play doctor, but it was more like mad scientist. We would pretend we were tied up and “shock” each other with popsicle sticks on different parts of our bodies. I always made her put the “shock” on my vagina. I honestly have too many stories about exploration and curiosity with vaginas and penises to list here.”

Read more here.

MLNPstar Jean of AllenandtheJean, addresses her early childhood bodily exploration here.

What did your early bodily exploration look like? Feel free to let us know in the comments or by submitting to Those Kinds of Girls!

3 Responses to “Realworld girls are ‘Those Kinds of Girls’”

  1. Chuck

    i hope i’m not intruding by repling but i love your attitude and welcome bringing a real thought to the world aout sex.   sexual attitudes have are repressed so much that reality is pushed aside.  sex is best talked abut and explored to get rid of the bugaboos.  the more the better, thoughts and sex. 

  2. Loren

    I’m absolutely not an expert here, but isn’t childhood sexual exploration something that happens solo or with age group peers? Lena Dunham was so much older than her sister at the time of the events she reported and also described coercing her into physically intimate acts. Childhood sexual exploration is a normal and healthy thing, but it sounds to me like this was something Dunham did TO her sister, not WITH her. I don’t want that distinction swept under the rug.

    • zdanner

      Loren, thanks so much for the comment! Here at makelovenotporn, we definitely agree that childhood sexual exploration is something that happens, as you said, with age group peers. However in her book, Lena describes events from when she was 7 years old– hardly old enough to be exploiting any kind of power dynamic over her sister. Particularly since Grace has since come out and said that these events were not at all abusive, we don’t think there’s anything inflammatory or wrong about these acts of exploration.


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