As you may have noticed, here at MLNP.tv, we encourage absolutely everyone in our community to submit #realworldsex videos. Whatever #realworldsex means to you, awesome! We want to see it.
Most of the time, when you share your #realworldsex, not only will we think it’s super hot and accept your video, we’ll also encourage every one of our members to rent it because we’re so darn excited about it.
But, there are unfortunately still rare occasions where we can’t accept a video because it’s not quite on par with the MLNP mission. Madam Curator, the lovely and talented #realworldsex curator and myself (your friendly curatorial assistant, hi!) have a really hard time turning down videos when we know that you’ve made yourself so vulnerable and have taken a chance putting it out there (pun intended).
So, in order to help you have an even higher chance of getting your video out of the submission queue and onto MLNP.tv, I’ve decided to dedicate this post to the type of video that most often runs into curatorial snags: the male #metime video.
It’s just that if your video is only 2 minutes long and is entirely comprised of a close-up of your dick locked in a furious chokehold, followed by climax and a quick push of your camera’s off-button, well, we wanna see a little more.
In the name of research, I decided to ask the advice of both my gay male roommate and straight female friend to get a better picture of what people who are interested in male masturbation videos are looking for. Needless to say, after a few drinks, I learned some surprising things about my friends, including the tidbit that seeing a guy going commando in gym shorts is a huge turn on.
I also learned that we all agree on a bunch of other aspects of what makes a video sexy—like that the cum shot at the end isn’t nearly as hot as seeing a guy’s face.
Who knew?! Based on our conversation, I decided to make a list of our major discussion points so that you’re able to shoot as hot of a #realworldsolosex video as possible.
So, without further ado, here are some tips and tricks for how to shoot a more contextualized, creative, and ultimately sexier, male solo #realworldsex video. Keep in mind these are good rules of thumb in general, not necessarily just for MLNP.tv!
1. Context! If you wake up with a huge boner after having a dirty dream about your partner or celebrity crush, and decide to rub one out and film it, we’re all about that. But let us know what’s going through your head before you just start jerking it like you’re trying to get ketchup out of the bottle. Show us your bedroom, your cat sitting on the end of your bed, etc, etc.
2. Noises! I don’t know why it seems like all of the male solo videos that I’ve watched are mostly silent – to be fair, I haven’t seen that many – while especially in porn, female masturbation videos feature super over the top performative moaning and screaming. So, while we want you to film your #realworldsex the way it happens in the #realworld, remaining entirely silent when you don’t normally makes it not as interesting to be a voyeur to, and it probably isn’t that fun to be constantly checking to make sure no sound escapes your lips. If you have to be silent because you’re trying to not wake up your roommate next door or something, I totally get that– we’ve all been there! But let us know that’s the reason you’re being so quiet! And if you have the apartment to yourself, be uninhibited– it’s so much hotter to see someone getting lost in the moment than holding themselves back.
3. Show us something besides the little guy! This is my own personal observation about most of the male #metime videos that we have to (sadly) turn down.
Let us say right off the bat that we think your member is awesome in the extreme. And, we get it, your penis is your pride and joy – not least because it’s brought many people to toe curling, mind blowing orgasm. But you know what else probably contributed? The rest of your body.
Which we usually don’t see. Torsos, chests, stomachs, backs, legs, wrists, forearms, etc. etc. etc. can be just as erotic – if not more so on occasion. Imagine if all female solo videos were just close ups of their vaginas. While porn admittedly features lots of genital close-ups, it also doesn’t shy away from showcasing the female form. We want you to showcase your form! (Or at least show it to us). Trust us, your video doesn’t have to be XXXplicit at all times in order for us to find it sexy.
4. Leave the camera running after you climax. If we’re invested enough in your orgasm to watch you get yourself there, we probably want to watch the cool-down too. Just because your orgasm is over, it doesn’t mean the video has to be! If I was really into a video and was like “Ooh so hot, orgasm, yes yes yes!” and then the video was immediately over, I would be like, “wait what just happened? I thought we had something?!” Okay, I’m being dramatic but you get the point.
Pro tip: Take advantage of that AM testosterone spike + natural light streaming in through your windows to shoot an effortlessly well-lit MakeMorningMeTimeLove video.
5. Good lighting! I was recently talking about how I’m much more likely to click on something if I’m aesthetically drawn to it. If you’re going to make a video, start off on the right foot and make sure your have proper lighting (read: the camera is able to pick up what you’re filming). Good lighting can make a video taken on your camera phone from 2008 look, well, pretty good. And believe me, we’re not camera snobs, we just want to make sure that what we think is a sexy thatch of pubic hair isn’t just a shadow or a collection of pixels.
Real talk guys: we’re dying to receive your #realworldsolosex submissions. And, we want to see you take time with your body. How else are we going to picture what we might do to you if we had you around? That’s why xxxotter’s video is so sexy —not only is he able to get himself off by touching his nipples alone, but to see a guy take that much time and be so sensual with himself is a total turn on.
While we’re all aware of the mechanics of a handjob: up and down hand motion + dick = cum, we want you to bring the personality (and maybe even a little mystery) back to the equation. Respect your body, love your body, show us how you work your body!
Maybe one day we can have an edition entirely comprised of hot and sensual male solo videos!
Have some questions about what an aesthetically pleasing dick pic/metime video might like? Head to Critique My Dick Pic and check out an art history major’s tips for what makes a memorable and enticing image. Looking for some additional tips and thoughts on sexting etiquette? Cartoonist Erika Moen has some great advice for taking dirty pics at Oh Joy Sex Toy—and we think the same thing applies for videos! Additionally, if you have any questions or want to talk about submitting a video, we are more than happy to give some advice! Email Madam Curator at email@example.com.