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I wanted to say THANK YOU for your website, Make Love Not Porn. I stumbled on it while reading an online article. I am a 28 year old female and have slept with 6 men. None of them have ever made me come. I thought I was abnormal, until the topic (somehow) came up in conversation with a 29 year old friend who admitted she has never had an orgasm with a man.
We now blame this on the fact that a lot of men don’t seem to know what they’re doing, from our experiences, anyway. I assume porn is the reason. Their moves (which I’ve seen in porn) don’t work in real life. Pumping into a woman like a jackhammer is not really enjoyable. Neither are position where only the genitals are touching.
I have never had a man pay much attention to my breasts. No-one has ever kissed my stomach, or my arms, or legs, or back etc. It’s always straight for oral, then intercourse, and expecting it to be amazing. One man loved to hold my hips off the bed, one of my legs on either side of him, while he just pumped away. No other physical contact. I felt like an object there for his enjoyment only. He was genuinely perplexed when I admitted to him that I didn’t come.
He was the first person I’d slept with, so I was innocent to the realities of sex and didn’t feel comfortable to tell him what I wanted. I’ve had gaps of up to 2.5 years between partners and I don’t miss sex when I’m not getting it. I love the idea of sex, and I love the fantasies I have, but the reality has always been disappointing for me.
I would love to feel adored during sex with lots of touching and kissing (all over) instead of feeling like I’m there as a means to an end. I wish more people were taught that what they see in porn is what works for camera angles, and not what works for women in real life.
So again, thank-you for your efforts in addressing this issue.
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