Pro-sex. Pro-porn. Pro-knowing the difference.

Women Try To Come Up With Slang Terms For Masturbation, Because “Flicking The Bean” Is…Just…No. / Bustle

Everyone can agree that there needs to be WAY more language around #realworldsex, which is why set out from the get-go to create a new vocabulary for talking about the sex we have in our everyday lives. As porn has rushed in to fill the language gap, it seems especially important to not only develop terms that reflect the sexual experiences of female-bodied individuals but to also make sure this new language isn’t too clinical or simply derivative of male-centric terms. (If you’ve followed any of Cindy’s twitter exchanges with a certain mainstream porn company, you’ll know what we’re talking about).

As this awesome video from Refinery29 points out, many women don’t know what to call a little #metime. ‘Masturbation’ sounds too clinical, while ‘pet the kitty’ seems too cutesy. Whatever your preferred term for buttering the muffin, we love that this pet project of ours is getting the attention it deserves! Our personal favorites? #clitting and #downstairsDJ. What else can y’all come (heh) up with? Looking forward to hearing in the comments!

Written by Beca Grimm for Bustle. Originally published on May 1st, 2015.


Masturbation is awesome, truly. It’s unfortunate, unfair, and frankly quite sexist that men get to have all the fun innuendo and slang for the act of diddling their own parts. For women, our obvious options are a little more limited, or at least nuanced. As such, we still won’t give up. When women try to come up with slang for masturbation, the results are obviously more inventive and adorable.

My first foray into the world of female masturbation slang came at the ripe age of 15. I remember sitting in newspaper class when a dude classmate made some crude mention of “flicking the bean”. Not only did that phrase make my skin crawl, it sounds…not comfortable, let alone likely to incite an orgasm. True, the male equivalent of jacking offsounds similarly painful (and for far too long, led my misinformed juvenile brain to think boys literally slapped their penises to reach climax. I was not a very popular tween.), but still. Masturbation sounds so medical and sterile and like something that happens in a basement. It sounds like an unfortunate item on a winding to-do list. Basically, this is all far from the truth. It’s an activity that, albeit probably vital for most of us, is a super radical party-for-one.

Read the rest of this great post here and don’t forget to leave your fave #realworldsex terms in the comments!

6 Responses to “Women Try To Come Up With Slang Terms For Masturbation, Because “Flicking The Bean” Is…Just…No. / Bustle”

  1. Eric

    Great video, great ladies, all very cool and happy about discussing having orgasms. I loved it. I love petting the kitty, rubbing one out, and clitting! Bring it on!

  2. Eric

    Actually, I also like flicking the bean, but maybe it sounds too painful for women to say. Too bad, as it’s cute and accurate.

    • madamcurator

      Glad you enjoyed the video, Eric! Actually, I think the pain of ‘flicking the bean’ might be more something that comes from the doing rather than the saying – but I guess it depends on how intense you like your clitoral stimulation! All bodies are different!

      • Eric

        Yes, exactly. For me, sometimes it’s flicking, or rubbing, or barely grazing, or whatever feels best for one of us any particular time. I just think ‘flicking the bean” is a very pleasant, cute, laid back way of saying it. I like it a lot, but some of the other ones are great, too.

  3. Modesty Ablaze (@ablazingmodesty)

    Love the video . . . and some of the suggestions make me giggle in agreement.
    “Me time” is what I’ve always used . . . I know it’s not particularly catchy, but in our household it’s always raised smiles (and raised other things actually) whenever I’ve whispered it in Hubby’s ear. Probably won’t work with a # though!
    Xxx – K


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