Pro-sex. Pro-porn. Pro-knowing the difference.

What Does Your Boyfriend Really Think Of Your Fanny Farts? / The Debrief

Written by Gareth May for The Debrief. Originally published on April 28th, 2015.


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“I was 17 when I experienced my first fanny fart.

My girlfriend and I had never tried doggy before and as much as it felt really – like, really – good I was desperately concentrating on keeping my balance (I was yet to master the one-foot-flat-on-the-bed technique you learn from porn and was instead placing all my weight on my rather wispy adolescent knees).

Eager to get back to missionary – both satisfied with our brief excursion beyond page one of the Kama Sutra and mildly smug that I hadn’t fallen on top of my girlfriend and crushed her pelvis – I pulled out and did that gentle tapping on the hip thing you do when you’re inexperienced and not confident enough to grab the missus by the waist and throw her down on the bed like Hulk Hogan.

Taking the hint, she lolloped on to her back, all limbs and blushes and post-sex hair and then…

Pfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft…

What the…?

Pfffffft…

Pfttt…

Pft…

That didn’t come from her arse, did it? Did it come from her…? Hang on? What?

And then we both burst out laughing. Half out of shyness and half because, well, fanny farts are funny. It’s the model I’ve followed ever since. A model with a clear set of rules:

1. Only laugh is she laughs too, don’t draw attention to it if she doesn’t (‘Erm, was that you or the cat?”).

2. Laughing, giggling, even guffawing is fine. Pointing and laughing simultaneously is not.

3. If the farts show no sign of letting up resist the temptation to lay some vocals down over ‘the beat’.”


Read on to see what MLNP CEO Cindy Gallop has to say about fanny farts!

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