Written by Riese for Autostraddle. Originally published on May 19th, 2015.
“In February 2015, Autostraddle launched The Ultimate Lesbian Sex Survey, open to all “lady-types who sleep with lady-types.” We garnered over 8,566 complete responses (89% of which were from people between the ages of 18 and 36) and now we’re sharing the results with you, bit by bit. Previously: How Often Do Queer Women Have Sex?, 100 Gayest Places You’ve Had Sex, The Masturbation Habits of Queer Women, 50 Really Fascinating Things You Wanted Us To Know About How You Have Sex, 26 Bits of Solid Sex Advice, 41 Feelings You Have About Scissoring, Here Are Your Very Queer Underwear-Wearing Habits, When It Comes To Orgasms, Lesbians Are Nailing It and The 100 Most Ambitious Places You’ve Had Sex. Today we’re talking about when you lost your virginity and how many partners you’ve had!
What Is Lesbian Sex?
The average American loses their virginity at the age of 17 — but “virgins” are defined as humans who haven’t had heterosexual penis-in-vagina intercourse with a different-sex partner, which means a lot of queer women who’ve had sex with women would be considered “virgins” by that definition. So where do we even begin when talking about that patriarchal V-Card in a queer context?
Well, we’re here, we’re queer, and we have great sex, which 92% of us agree could be defined as “any time you are with at least one other person and someone is trying to make someone have an orgasm.” 66% think mutual masturbation counts, 81.5% count oral sex and 80% consider fingering (digital penetration) to be sex. Of the 9.49% who indicated “other” in addition to or instead of the other options for “How Would You Define Lesbian Sex?”, one noted:
“This is a difficult question. Do lesbians have sex? The epistomological root of the word ‘sexual’ means to sever or divide. I would say that intimacy between women does the opposite of sever. It makes us whole. We need a different word than sex to describe this.”
So, there you go. Oh yeah, and then we have this flowchart:
Click here to read more lesbian sex stats!