“Condoms kinda suck, but STIs and abortions suck way more, so condoms it is! I’m not going to use this article to rant about the reasons why everyone should use protection. We already know why: because STIs are annoying, expensive, and could negatively affect your life forever, and because getting an abortion is a really inconvenient way to spend a Saturday afternoon. However, according to statistics, most of us are idiots and have unprotected sex on the regular, even with STIs on the rise in this country. I find it bizarre that so many people still talk about condoms being a turn-off, when really, the biggest turn-off is having to argue with a guy about why he should put one on.
Proper condom etiquette can be really sexy. The bar isn’t very high—all a girl wants is for you to stop whining, put it on, and control your delusions of grandeur, because when you wear a Magnum unnecessarily, it feels like we’re having sex with an empty bag.
My friend, a 25-year-old editor I’ll call Karen, is uniquely passionate about condom dexterity. “The most attractive thing is when the guy can do it all with one hand,” she said with great admiration, sort of the way my dad talks about LeBron James. “He grabs the package and rips it open with his teeth, all while keeping one hand on me—that’s literallysuch a skill!” Karen often talks fondly of one ex who was particularly agile with a condom. “The process was so fluid, I wouldn’t even notice it happened,” she said.”
Read the rest of Karley’s take on proper condom etiquette here!