You might have noticed the mouth-wateringly-hot videos that dynamite new MLNPstar VonBettie recently shared as part of our MakeToytimeLoveNotPorn edition/collaboration with Refinery29, as well as our MakeAnywhereYouWantLoveNotPorn edition. In this blog post, this amazing queer MLNPstar opens up about the sexual journey that brought her to MLNP.tv! Thank you, VonBettie – we’re grateful to have you as part of our community!
At some point in my life, probably in between figuring out monogamy and non-monogamy, I realized sex was a necessary asset to my overall well being both physically and mentally– that limiting it to any one type of sex(y) or person(s) felt suffocating.
Since a young age I’ve always been curious about myself and the connections I could explore with others. I was growing up to be a sexual being. Over the years I experimented with myself and future lovers, have had trials and errors of in bedroom/out of bedroom romps and truly discovered my inner exhibitionist. I didn’t mind being in public places. I especially get turned on in cars! In fact, I remember losing my virginity behind a dumpster on a mattress… and it felt good and exciting to be doing these things. Natural, almost.
While navigating my way through different styles and learning to love myself in new ways, I looked to working at a strip club. It allowed me to develop my personal style and love my body in new ways. Having others appreciate me physically, helped me learn to appreciate myself. A common misconception is that there’s only one “type” of dancer. At the club I worked in, the women were big, tall, small, a little homely, stunning, alternative… you name it! There was everyone from the girl next door to the Las Vegas vixen…and they ALL had customers.
I was in awe, I developed crushes, I met SEX POSITIVE WOMEN. I wanted them and to be like them.
So I started practicing in my spare time on the stage and pole. I auditioned during waitress nights and eventually left that club and moved onto a new one as a full time dancer. I loved it. I loved the environment; rich, full and drenched in sexuality. Giving men lap dances even if I didn’t sleep with them in my personal life was so fulfilling. I could write a whole short story on my club experiences but I’ll just leave it at that.
So naturally, dancing was my gateway drug. I also became interested in modelling, then in being a peepshow girl, and finally I became involved in porn. I told myself that I wasn’t going to make sex work a full time career. I didn’t want to be someone that needed to hustle that hard to make my rent or support myself. I wanted to work but not hustle. So I kept sex work low-key and shared it only with people I trusted. Mostly those who are indie or queer oriented.
Through years and years of self exploration and balancing my blue collar life (I work as a wildland firefighter) with my sex positive life, I’ve managed to create amazing connections and experiences with beautiful people, including my now partner who supports me wholeheartedly. At this point in my life I don’t have the “stigma paralysis” I once did about certain people finding out. Now I feel confident I could sit anyone down and discuss why they should be more understanding or respect my choices in doing whatever it is I choose to do and better educate them.
I found out about MLNP through networking on Twitter. I saw an opportunity and took it. I’m kind of an opportunist. I just know if I don’t create these experiences for myself they may never happen. “No guts, no story.”
So MLNP fell into my lap and I’m really happy it did! I even ran into Madam Curator at the Feminist Porn Awards in Toronto, Canada by chance and she recognized me before I’d even known who she was outside of emails.
This site is exactly what I like in a sexual outlet. I am plugged into multiple other sites and this one equally allows me to share my own fantasies — #realworldsex vs acting out someone else’s porn fantasy. I’ve definitely learned over the years that there is certainly something for everyone porn/erotica wise, but seeing it portrayed by the minds of someone who you can relate to in everyday life makes it feel less bizarre and more attainable. Like, “Oh, you like rolling around in spaghetti while getting anally fucked and reading Harry Potter, too?”
*high five* and the world is a better place.
So thank you MLNP Community! I look forward to sharing myself and pleasing you from afar.