Pro-sex. Pro-porn. Pro-knowing the difference.

For when you’re over 50 Shades of Gray: MLNPstar Carlotta shares her fave kinky movies

Carlotta & Mr. F

By MLNPstar Carlotta of Carlotta + Mr. F

The final chapter in the kink community’s least favorite saga, 50 Shades of Gray, opens this week.  I’d like to do my part by suggesting other choices.  Not all of these follow the three principles of BDSM: safe, sane and consensual — but seeing that can be valuable too.

Here are ten of my favorites:

Two films from last year about real-life trailblazers, Tom of Finland and
Professor Marsten and the Wonder Women, both show the adversity our kinky forebears faced: censorship, ostracism, even jail.  While their art and their lifestyles sparked outrage, their relationships were full of loving care, and these films do a great job depicting that.
 

Still from Eating Raoul

Eating Raoul, 1982: No matter how many times I watch this, it still cracks me up.  It’s a send-up of sex-crazed swingers, snobby squares and just about everyone else.  It doesn’t make us kinksters look good, and it is absolutely not in any way tasteful.  As a bonus to the gruesome humor though, Warhol superstar Mary Woronov is hotter than hell as Naughty Nancy (and Cruel Carla).
 
The Duke of Burgundy, 2015: An extravagantly beautiful film about the most mundane of matters.  A lesbian couple lives in an all-female world of butterflies and boot-blacking.  But looking past the piss play and exquisite lingerie, we see a bossy bottom and a passive-aggressive top — plus petty jealousy, bodily fatigue, professional insecurity and lots of housework.  Finally, we see communication.
 

Still from Shortbus

Shortbus, 2006: If you’ve seen one film on this list, it’s probably this one.  From John Cameron Mitchell (Hedwig), it’s a truly heart-warming story told with mostly non-professional actors.  Confronting depression and frustration, it sends two fictional couples through a realistically awkward quest of voyeurism, group play, SM and sexual healing.  Also features the fabulous Justin Bond.

 Tie Me Up! Tie Me Down! 1989: Classic Almodóvar, predictably campy.  It jokes about Stockholm Syndrome, but it’s hard not to wish for the couple’s success.  A clueless young Banderas kidnaps an actress who turns out to give as good as she gets — and soon begins to enjoy her bonds.  It has one of my favorite movie sex scenes ever: once she’s free and they finally fuck, she’s so happy, she laughs while she rides him.
 

Scene from R100

R100, 2013: Another one that goes completely over the top — and then keeps going.  It’s about a submissive man who signs a contract for domination by a club of sadistic women.  By the Japanese rating system, R100 would mean that viewers won’t be old enough to see it until they’re 100.  There’s the Brechtian meta-film aspect, there’s extreme humiliation, and there’s eventually straight-up sci-fi.
 
In the Realm of the Senses, 1976: This one is seriously pervy, so be warned.  Supposedly based on a real-life pre-war couple, it’s political, pornographic and violent, and it’s a landmark of Japanese cinema.  It answers the question, what happens when two people’s lust for one another knows no bounds whatsoever?  Twisted but also touching and hot (in my kinky opinion).

Scene from Belle du Jour

 Belle de Jour1967: A closet-kinky Paris housewife “married to a Boy Scout” leads a secret life working day shifts at a brothel.  Though Buñuel was a master of satire and the surreal, it actually sort of nails the fear and enchantment that come with exploring — and some risks it can entail for a woman (here played by Catherine Deneuve).

The Little Death, 2014: One Australian man gets carried away with role play, another tries hard to fulfill his girlfriend’s kinky desire, and a third is woefully blind to his wife’s guilty dacryphilia (arousal by tears).  It’s a wholesome ensemble rom-com, with hilarious sign language phone sex.
A few films that bum me out with their stereotypes: Barbet Schroeder’s Maitresse, Von Trier’s Nymphomaniac Part II (I loved Part I!) and — sorry guys — Alex Payne’s Secretary.  I don’t like these films because they depict kinky people as abusive or abused.  Some not-quite-kinky good ones that might still scratch the itch: the Norwegian film, BlindBound (by the Wakowskis, with help from the great Susie Bright) and The People vs. Larry Flynt (Milos Forman, with an amazing Courtney Love) are all edgy love stories with strong sexual content.
Enjoy!

To see Carlotta’s own #realworldkinky relationship, check out her #realworldsex videos with her partner, Mr. F! To read more on MLNPstars and kink, read this piece by MLNPstar Jean of AlleandtheJean!

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