Written by MLNPstar Elle of El_and_BSal.
How we found MLNP
I knew about the harmful effects pornography can have on some people because over 10 years ago I was married to a man who could never ejaculate without masturbating during sex. At the time I wanted to have a baby, and it was apparent this wouldn’t happen if my partner could not climax inside me. In fact, he had to jerk himself off to have an orgasm. This was because for many years before we met he was involuntarily celibate and would watch pornography while masturbating. It literally re-wired him to only be able to ejaculate by using his hand.
I did some research on the subject. Little was available in 2005-2006, so anything that came up related to the topic would generally get my attention.
I remember seeing the TED talk from Cindy Gallop and I remember how taken I was by this amazing concept of MLNP. Like wow! Yes we need this! I need this! There is something extra special and extra sexy about showcasing #realworldsex.
The thought of me being a MLNP star never crossed my mind, my life long struggle with body image has held me inside a belief that I don’t have the right look for the camera.
Thanks to recent body-positive movements I see on social media, I started to think different about myself and my connection to my body. I wanted to try new things that are edgy and out of the box I had put myself in.
It’s still a big step of vulnerability. It’s not a performance, this is real.
Submitting our video definitely made my mind race with many thoughts.
Our first MLNP movie
Earth day was a typical Sunday with me and Sal. Staying in bed all morning long and making-love, only this time we filmed a few clips. Nervous about the way we would look, we watched ourselves having sex on my iPhone. To our surprise it was very hot! So we had sex two more times that day.
I told Sal about MLNP and showed him the website. He had no issues agreeing to start a profile and sharing our love-making.
I asked Sal- why do you want to share our videos with MLNP? He said to me “because this gives people a chance to see what making-love really looks like, it’s not a fake bang it out production, but two people who love each other experiencing pleasure.”
Sal and I both believe in the mission of MLNP. As edgy and vulnerable as it feels to put ourselves out there, we are happy to share with the community our pleasure time.
The Struggle of Feeling Body-Positive enough for MLNP
I grew up before body positive movements. The 90’s was all about having a Playboy image, or a look good enough for Hustler and video porno was the only sex-ed out there. The images of sexualized women made me believe that I needed to look like them to have any power as a female. I would witness gorgeous women getting all the attention all the time and I felt left out on the sidelines. It seemed being hot and sexy was the only way to attract love. I was taller than average, bigger than average, with small boobs and a big butt. If you were even a little fat back then, you were shamed or looked at funny, or heard people make passive aggressive jokes about your food choices. Southern California was a culture of sexualizing women and I grew up right smack dab in the middle of this culture.
I feel sad so many of my poor life choices came from that place of feeling inferior and unwanted.
I had one class in school on sexual education. It was in the 9th grade, and it lasted about an hour. It misinformed me about ovulation, briefly explained sex organs, menstrual cycles, one minute on condoms and everything about how sex causes unwanted babies, STD’s and will ruin your life.
I wanted so bad to know more about sex, relationships, love and romance. I wanted to know what it felt like to be touched and adored and pleasured.
This foundation of poor sex-ed and the sexualized female body image lead me into two decades of acting desperate in anything sexual or relationships. Many times I forced my own body into a sexual situations just so I could experience more sex. Often I got taken advantage of because of my lack of setting boundaries and I was easy manipulated because of my personal insecurities.
My self-esteem was so bad that couldn’t see myself making sex videos and putting them out on the web.
How I Learned to Make-Love
When self-sabotage became an apparent pattern of mine, I began to seek help.
I read books, went on retreats, did more good things for my body, and committed to learning as much as I could so I could honestly come to a place of self-acceptance and self-love.
I wanted my sex questions answered, I wanted the feeling of freedom to explore sexuality, and I wanted to finally feel sexy in my plus-size Goddess body. I enrolled into a 7-day training through The School of Temple Arts, a safe place to learn and grow on mature levels about sexual energy. In one part of the training I had vulnerably shared with the group that I had had sex hundreds of times, but had only made love maybe twice in my entire life. It was apparent my sexual needs were around really experiencing what it was like to make-love.
Shortly after my training, I met Sal. From day one things were different with Sal. My first impression of him was great- we both shared the same hobbies, easily connected on a deeper level and both of us had strong sexual chemistry! We waited about one month before having sex, went on about a dozen dates and the chemistry between us grew intense. When we finally had sex, it was fucking amazing! We would have sex half a dozen times in one weekend- sometimes more. It’s still like that. We love hanging out with each other and we love making love to each other. For the first time I can surrender and be more connected than ever before.
The real reason we are creating more for MLNP
We are not performers and making videos is not something we have done before, in fact I use my iPhone and iMovie to make these. Both Sal and I are honored and grateful that we found each other, and we feel absolutely cosmic when we are making love, as though we are lifted to another place in the stars. We started filming ourselves only to observe what it looked like physically, because during and after sex we just can’t explain it in words. After seeing ourselves on camera we agreed to share it as a way to celebrate and immortalize the special sex we create together. We also hope to inspire others.
We are overwhelmed with gratitude and appreciation for being asked to be featured on the site. Its so exciting that we created two more videos with plans to continue recording our love-making and sharing it with the world. We both want to thank MLNP, for their mission and for the platform to allow the regular people of the world to be seen and heard in the ways of #realworldsex
Check out all of El_and_BSal’s cosmic #realworldsex videos here.
To read more like this, head to the MLNPstars Speak section of our blog!