By MakeLoveNotPornstar AndreLynn
Every adventure has its ups and downs. For Lynn and I, participating in MLNP has been a fun journey — one that only could be made anonymously, which has its challenges. One of the tougher challenges has been the way the relationships around us have changed. MLNP has been our big secret from friends, family, and in fact everyone except the MLNP staff.
We have grown so much in our own sexuality, which has been a huge positive in our marriage. We probably wouldn’t be where we are today without that initial commitment to be social with our sexuality.
The downsides of growing in this way has been a current life of secrecy about MLNP. We make a lot of effort to stay anonymous, and the wonderful part is that we have never felt any pressure from MLNP to change how we want to be viewed. We live in a very conservative part of our country and Andre’s job would be jeopardized just with the simple knowledge of us being active participants with MLNP. In fact, a lot of our friendships would potentially also be in jeopardy because of this secret.
The interesting discovery of this tension in our lives is that we have realized very quickly the people that we can trust and the ones we cannot.
Over the years, we have been decreasing the quantity of people that we call friends. As church leaders, you cannot have too many “friends.” Everyone is a friend when you are a church leader, until they find out something that they don’t like. When we left the church, we also consciously made an effort to reduce who we spent our time with, which ultimately, has made our lives richer and our friendships are full of more substance.
We now have only let a couple of friends know of our MLNP life — only the ones we felt truly safe to share the knowledge with. But even some of those couldn’t handle it. We have spent the last couple of months really figuring out our friendships and relationships. We recognize that we have a very small handful of friends that are closer than family.
We choose to focus not on the loss of old friends, but on the genuine friends we still have, and even better, on the new friendships that have developed from the MLNP community — people that are non-judgmental and accepting of us and our journey. And we hope that we offer the same to the new friends we are meeting — that we offer a space for people to feel safe.
This adventure is worth it!
You can find AndreLynn’s #realworldsex videos at MakeLoveNotPorn.tv
To read more from AndreLynn, check out their post on discovering their sexuality after leaving the Christian Church on our blog.
For more from our MLNPstars, check out the MLNPstars Speak section.